Obviously Lumber

An offer from Daily Jocks yesterday, with an image that will be #4 below, from Obviously Apparel, advertising their new Lumber collection. Manly underwear for lumberjacks (and the men who love them). Especially for well-endowed lumberjacks (and the men who love their endowments). Four images of a single model, worked into a story.

But first, a word from Monty Python. You can view the video here.

The sadness of the new morning

(#1)

Already he misses Simon,
Even though the man’s
Smell is still on his body
And in his mouth.

The dick of death

(#2)

He takes his coffee outside, to
Ponder the day, thoughtlessly strokes his
Pouch (Patrick jokes about
Il Monstro, but Simon, that shameless
Size queen, worships him).

The impalement

(#3)

First task of the day, taking WOL out for
His morning hunt, to plummet
Down
On small
Woodland creatures.

The felling

(#4)

Then to hard work, wielding his
Axe on the trash trees that
Spring up everywhere. His body glistens with
Sweat, his smell mingling with the
Fading scent of Simon’s furry
Chest and the sweet taste of Simon’s cock.

Patrick doggedly chops away.

…..

The company’s statement:

Obviously Apparel is an Australian designed and world renowned premium men’s underwear and undershirts brand. Our online store offers the ultimate in comfortable underwear and undershirts coupled with sophisticated design.

Obviously Apparel can be found in stores across Australia, the US, Canada, Russia, UK, Japan, France, India, and we are constantly expanding our global network of partners. Obviously Apparel puts an emphasis on what we believe is the most important aspect of clothing – comfort.

Our meticulously engineered anatomical pouch design is what places our brand at the forefront of the underwear market. In order to provide you with the ultimate in superior quality of underwear we have chosen to use nothing but the finest natural fabrics – Bamboo Rayon and Licensed Lenzing Modal. These fabrics allow us to create underwear that is perfect to convey the feeling of softness, durability and support. Our fabrics have significant health benefits over regular cotton and synthetic underwear fabrics, they are highly UV resistant, non Genetically Modified (GM), sustainable and environmentally friendly.

In their advertising, all premium men’s underwear companies play on the homoeroticism of their products, and Obviously is no exception: the photos above dwell lovingly on the model’s body, even at the cost of not showing much of his clothes (except in #2, where the long boxer briefs, with their prominent pouch, are the centerpiece). In #1, in fact, the model is wearing underwear with the new AnatoMAX design, with a truly huge pouch, but you can’t tell that from the picture, which focuses on the model’s handsome face, his well-developed biceps, and his nice (but not extraordinary) abs. (Unusually, the model is not tanned. But par for the course, his body is smooth, except for very light fur on his forearms; whatever their natural state, underwear models are usually presented as smooth, often the result of shaving. Me, I would have liked some fur on his chest.)

(I haven’t been able to discover the model’s name or anything about him as a person. Underwear companies rarely identify their models, though there are a few notable exceptions.)

That said, Obviously’s advertising and its products are remarkably restrained, showing none of the extravagant (and often entertaining) fagginess that many companies display. (Examples in many of my earlier underwear postings, including a fair number that had to go on AZBlogX because they were too explicit.) They really do focus on comfort, in the design of the garments and in the fabrics they use, which wick moisture away from your privates.

On design: this review on the Underwear Expert site:

Well endowed men who love all the styles Obviously has to offer will be happy with their newest pouch design! The Obviously AnatoMAX Pouch aims to maximize comfort by providing extra room where you need it most.

The AnatoMAX is the largest pouch ever produced by Obviously! It will provide extra comfort, room and size for men who need it. … This collection is available in four colors: graphite, gray, white and black. These colors are perfect for everyday wear as well as the nightlife. [That is, in or out of your other clothes] If you’re someone who tends to love specific styles in underwear, you won’t be left without options. The Basics Collection is available in eight styles: 9 inch boxer brief, 3 inch boxer brief, jockstrap, thong, bikini brief, brief, hipster brief, and hipster trunk.

Eight styles and four pouch sizes; the new AnatoMAX is one step above the previous top size, AnatoFREE.

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