Youthful balls

A story that’s been making the rounds; I first saw it in “News of the Weird” in Funny Times; here’s a version from Yahoo! Lifestyle on June 11th, “Does your tackle need tightening? How George Clooney is inspiring men to go nuts and take pride in polishing their Crown Jewels” (someone at the site just couldn’t resist the language play) by Penny Newton, beginning:

If you ever hear a bloke talk about tightening the tackle, you could be forgiven for thinking that he’s off on a fishing trip with his buddies.

But chances are, his talking about something very different – and we’ve got George Clooney to thank.

The Hollywood hunk, who has constantly joked about getting his testicles “ironed out”, has sparked a new craze with one beauty spa saying they’ve been “inundated” with requests, reports the Daily Mail.

More details from Yahoo!:

Santa Monica spa Beauty Park referrs to the non-surgical treatment as a ‘Male Laser Lift’, where lasers are used to remove hair, erase wrinkles, correct discoloration on the scrotum, and generally improve “tone and texture in the area.”

The process takes a little over an hour. Results usually last four weeks and around six sessions are needed for lasting results.

Clooney, who gave an interview with [Italy’s] Max magazine this year admitted that while he never fixed his eyes, he “spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles.

“I did not like the wrinkles. It’s a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ‘ball ironing.'”

Jamie [Sherrill, co-owner of the spa], who has treated many celebrities, decided to investigate tackle tightening after being swamped with requests.

“Men are becoming more comfortable with their grooming habits,” she said.

From the spa’s site (with links to other media coverage):

Male Bikini Laser Treatment

The popular male laser treatment has recently been extensively talked about in the news and by celebrities, and is often referred to by  the media as “ball ironing”, “tighten the tackle” and “scrotal lift”.

This non-invasive, non-surgical treatment is applied to male scrotal area to help regain a more youthful look.

$575

So: the technical-sounding male (bikini) laser treatment and male laser lift (parallel to bust lift), neither naming the body-part in question. And then the more direct scrotal lift and the playful tackle-tightening and (my favorite) ball ironing.

Still, it hadn’t occurred to me to strive for more youthful balls. But then my balls have never been tight; that’s just the way I hang.

(My searches for good before and after photos to put on AZBlogX have so far been unsuccessful.)

One Response to “Youthful balls”

  1. Double double entendre | Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] is also BrE slang for male genitalia [seen recently on this blog from an Australian source, here]; the epithet ‘harder’ is applicable to both. The other is ‘keepy-uppy’ […]

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