The name game

In the wake of the latest Anthony Weiner revelations, Slate (on 7/23) created a generator of sexting pseudonyms:

The Carlos Danger Name Generator: Use our widget to get a name like Anthony Weiner’s alleged sexting pseudonym.

… One of the specific claims in the Dirty’s reports is that Weiner used a Yahoo account with the pseudonym “Carlos Danger” to email photos of his penis — a fact that Weiner has not confirmed or denied.

Want a fantastic online sobriquet like Carlos Danger? You’re in luck. Type your first and last names into the fields below and click “Get My Name” to find your personal pseudonym.

The generator is pretty simple-minded. It would have to be: unlike common schemes for generating porn names (which use personal information about you), this one goes on nothing more than your first and last names. And it uses “Carlos Danger” as a very direct model.

Richard Jasper, who pointed me to this site via Facebook, becomes Guillermo Calamity. I get Manuel Distress (Manual Distress would have been more interesting). Both Chris Ambidge and Ken Rudolph get Bernardo Threat. Both Arne Adolfsen and Mike Thomas get Benito Hazard.

Alternative first names or last names will of course lead to different pseudonyms, as with Mike Thomas > Benito Hazard, but Michael Thomas > Fabricio Violence. Don Steiny > Carmelo Trouble, but Donald Steiny > Gustavo Kill; Tom Wasow > Esteban Badass, but Thomas Wasow > Mariano Catastrophe; and Jason Parker > Fernando Adventure, but Jason Parker-Burlingham > Víctor Dynamite (my very favorite of the 27 names I tested).

You see the pattern: Spanish first name (like Carlos), dangerous last name (like, well, Danger). Some first names:

Benito, Bernardo, Carlos, Carmelo, Cesar, Esteban, Fabricio, Federico, Fernando, Guillermo, Gustavo, Juan, Manolo, Manuel, Mariano, Mario, Mateo, Miguel Ãngel (that should be Ángel), Sandro, Víctor

and some last names:

Adventure, Badass, Calamity, Catastrophe, Covert, Danger, Death, Distress, Dynamite, Evil, Hazard, Kill, Scourge, Smash, Stealth, Threat, Trouble, Verboten, Violence

The names are notably lacking in phallicity, or any other sort of sexiness (unless you think Spanish first names are inherently sexy). And to me the last names are mostly off-putting.

[Addendum: Eliot Spitzer > Mario Smash. And then Carlos Danger > Felipe Menace > Antonio Scourge > Salvador Threat > Raphael Furtive > Manolo Dynamite > … ]

[Further addendum, on the algorithm that creates the pseudonyms: Same input, same output, so it has to depend on the letters in the two names. First name vs.last name is significant: Zwicky Arnold > Raul Distress. But within the two names, the order is irrelevant: Arnold Zwicky > Manuel Distress, Arnodl Zwicky > Manuel Distress, Dlonra Zwicky > Manuel Distress. Arnold Zickwy > Manuel Distress, Anrold Zickwy > Manuel Distress.]

One Response to “The name game”

  1. arnold zwicky Says:

    Some (fairly) obvious plays on the net: Carlos Dangler; Carlos Danger Will Robinson.

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