It’s happening again. The staff where I live now have mostly taken to addressing me as Mr. Arnold — because to lots of Americans (of whatever origins), Mr. Zwicky seems to be simply unpronounceable, a hurdle too high. This produces a twinge of sociolinguistic distress in me, because of the regrettable history of the American address form Mr. FN [that is, FirstName], as in Blues for Mr. Charlie.
From my 11/13/15 posting “Address terms in service encounters”:
last year … I began lunching regularly at Reposado, a high-end Mexican restaurant I’ve written about a number of times on this blog (to talk about food and food names). The servers there include a number of Anglos (who all address me as Arnold) and also quite a few Hispanics, almost all from Mexico (we talk about the places they grew up in). Some of the Mexicans addressed me as Arnold, but most struggled to find an address term that would maintain the friendliness of the first name but introduce a note of respect as well. Most of them hit on Mr. Arnold — presumably a translation of respectful Señor Arnold — as a solution. I was distressed, because of the history of Mr. FN as an address term in the US.
The story, compressed considerably, starts with a common address pattern on the plantations of the South, in which (white) masters and (black) slaves exchanged FN, but asymmetrically — the master giving FN alone to the slave, the slave expected to give Mr. FN in return (and the master’s wife, or other woman of the house, giving FN to the slave but expecting Miss (not Mrs.) FN in return). In an extension of this usage, slaves used Mr./Miss FN for referential use amongst themselves — referring to those people the way those people expected the slaves to address them.
Two developments from this pattern. First, Mister Charlie was fixed on by black speakers as a cover term to refer to white men in general (those who exploited blacks or were condescending towards them) and Miss Ann as a cover term to refer to white women in general. Both expressions are, as a result, deeply pejorative.
Second, long after emancipation, the patterns of Mr./Miss FN continued to be used in the South in intimate contexts, for employees (especially domestic employees) to address their employers. This was the usage of my first father-in-law Keene Daingerfield and his wife Libby, in Lexington KY: black employees (employees in the household or on the horse farms where Keene worked as a trainer) got FN from Keene and Libby and gave Mr. Keene and Miss Libby to them. (And in referential uses, Keene referred to Libby as Miss Libby in talking to these employees (“Miss Libby is pregnant”, Keene once said to his stableman Dick Mitchell, who then married Minnie, who served as nurse to the child, who grew up to become my wife Ann), and Libby referred to him as Mr. Keene in the same circumstances. That was the dominant pattern in Kentucky, for exchanges between black employees and white employers. It’s long gone now, under assault from Black Pride. [AZ in 2026: and that’s a damn good thing]
A footnote to the story of Dick and Minnie (both of whom, and Dick’s brother Frank, I came to know well). When their daughter Janet graduated from high school and Ann and I were invited to the ceremony, we sent Janet our regrets, with a graduation present, something useful for college (from which she went on to medical school and a distinguished career as an M.D. in New York City). Janet sent us a thank-you note, with the salutation “Dear Miss Ann and Mr. Arnold”. Ann immediately phoned Janet, to say that wasn’t appropriate, those times were past, she mustn’t do that any more, Janet confirmed our suspicions by bursting into tears, protesting, “Mama made me do it!”. Well, Ann said sternly, that’s your Momma’s generation, but it’s not yours.
(I have some hope of getting soon to a posting in which Frank Mitchell plays a starring role. You will think I made him up.)
(Sadly, everyone I’ve mentioned by name in this posting (except me, of course) is gone now — even Janet, who died on 9/1/19.)
August 12, 2026 at 6:00 am |
Interesting. My experience growing up in south-central Kentucky, about 100 miles from Lexington, was different from this. I don’t recall African-Americans being quite as deferential, and if “Mr.” was used, it was followed by a surname. Perhaps it was a factor that this was a rural agricultural area and there was no tradition of household servants. It might also have been a factor that African-Americans made up only about 4% of the population.
Also, I was wondering if the “Miss” honorific you mention might actually have been “Miz,” which was more typical where I grew up.
More recently, I have no experience of African-Americans calling me “Mr. John,” but Hispanic tradesmen generally have done so. Perhaps typical was the owner of the small business that handled our yardwork. He called my wife and me “Miss Kim” and “Mr. John”; we always called him “Mr. Rivas.”
August 12, 2026 at 6:34 am |
to lots of Americans (of whatever origins), Mr. Zwicky seems to be simply unpronounceable
I still remember the bartender at the Minneapolis motss.con hotel telling me that “Mr. Z’wicky already paid for all the drinks”, with a definite shadow vowel between the z and the w.
On the main topic, I have had at least two dentists introduce themselves to me (and be referred to by the staff) as “Dr. [first-name]”.
August 12, 2026 at 6:41 am |
When I first started going to the dental practice I’m still with, it was a father-and-son office, so the staff referred to them as “Dr. Richard” and “Dr. Louis” as the last name would have been ambiguous.