Patsy Baloney

On Twitter yesterday, given a little push by my posting “Did that actually just happen?”, Merrill Markoe tweeted:

The Jan 6 hearings were once again amazing, stunning and magnificent. In a related story, because it is my responsibility and my job, I have recorded the valiant attempts made by the closed-captioning software to spell Pat Cipollone [AZ: the attorney who served as White House Counsel for [Helmet Grabpussy]]

MM supplied a series of screen captures with attempts at an orthographic rendering of

/ ˈpætˌsɪpǝˈloni /

of which her favorite (and mine) was Patsy Baloney:

(#1) Left, for the committee: US Representative Liz Cheney of Wyoming; right: the witness Cassidy Hutchinson

At this point, I should have listened to the little voice in my head that asked, “Merrill Markoe? Why is that name familiar?” Instead, I rolled on with some shtick:

AZ: Patsy Baloney is obviously a low-level thug in the Sicilian mob. In, of course, an amazingly colorful fictional world, where he’s a great character, full of good cheer and tall tales — well, except for the occasional bullet to the back of the head, but that’s just the job.

Oh dear, that was funny, but spinning a comedy plot to MM would be like lecturing E. O. Wilson about ants, as I realized when I (eventually) recalled her name scrolling by in the credits for one tv show after another and reading appreciations of her comic genius by insiders in the business. The summary Wikipedia identification: “Merrill Markoe (born August 13, 1948) is an American author, television writer, and occasional standup comedian.” In an p.r. photo by John Dolan:


Maybe MM will find a vehicle for the Good Soldier Baloney.

One Response to “Patsy Baloney”

  1. Robert Coren Says:

    And if the Cipollone family had stuck with a more nearly Italian pronunciation, the name would probably have come out as “patchy baloney”, leading to a slightly different class of amusement.

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