haram / treyf

(This posting discusses sexual matters in very plain terms and is deliberately and grossly offensive in several ways, so it’s not for kids, the sexually modest, or those who are uncomfortable with the crude mockery of public figures.)

Two events from yesterday, both involving Helmet Grabpussy. Leading to things that are unclean and dangerous, hence forbidden. Haram (not halal) in Islam, treyf (not kosher) in Judaism.

First, from Grabpussy’s SOTU address last night, Veepotus Mike Pence applauding the speaker while standing next to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, who is methodically tearing up a copy of Grabpussy’s address — notable for my purposes here because Pence is known for his wariness about close proximity to women other than his wife, as vessels of temptation to sin; other women are both unclean and dangerous.


(#1) Pence and Pelosi

Second, from earlier in the evening, the awarding of the Presidential Medal of Freedom to attack-dog conservative political commentator Rush Limbaugh:


(#2) El Rushbo and his medal

LimboMan is relevant here because of a (characteristic) comment he made on his radio program in the summer of 1994: “When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it’s an invitation.” (Source: The Most Dangerous Man in America: Rush Limbaugh’s Assault on Reason by John K. Wilson)

In his larger view of things, gay men are walking invitations for dirty sex, and homosexuality is an easily transmitted contagion. Fags are unclean and dangerous.

Attraction / repulsion. Life would be simple if some things were just unclean and recognized as dangerous. But these things are often seductively attractive, temptingly desirable. In fact, it can be hard to say which comes first: are extramarital sex and mansex forbidden because they are so dangerously desirable, or are they so desirable because they’re forbidden?

A canine digression. I have long wondered about Grabpussy’s striking aversion to dogs. Is this just attraction / repulsion? Maybe he’s a secret dogfucker, reveling in disgust at his nearly uncontrollable urges to stick his dick into man’s best friend. And have the dog love him slavishly for it. It would be so in character.

But back to the entirely human world of Haram Treyf, that sinful land of nasty pleasure.

In one valley there is a gigantic cunt, in a dark filthy fog of virtual particles of menstrual blood, with, at its core, that object of irresistible desire. In another, a gigantic asshole and cock, in a dark filthy fog of virtual particles of anal semen, with, at its core, those two objects of irresistible desire, with only the narrowest of perineums separating them. Men wander through the valleys, ejaculating uncontrollably into their pants, fouling themselves, and then shredding their clothes in self-loathing, all the while preaching loudly against the sins of the body. (A Voyage to Haram Treyf, undated, author unknown)

This is the world that haunts Pence and Limbaugh.

Footnote on the Presidential Medal of Freedom. From Wikipedia:

The Presidential Medal of Freedom is an award bestowed by the president of the United States. The Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal are the highest civilian awards of the United States. The presidential medal seeks to recognize those people who have made “an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors”. The award is not limited to U.S. citizens and, while it is a civilian award, it can also be awarded to military personnel and worn on the uniform.

It was established in 1963 by President John F. Kennedy, superseding the Medal of Freedom that was established by President Harry S. Truman in 1945 to honor civilian service during World War II.

Rush Limbaugh is a decidedly, um, eccentric choice for medalist.

 

 

 

 

 

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