Coded!

(Men’s underwear alert! Premium grade, but still…)

Harry stumbled one day into the neighborhood
Force field and was 22-Coded, became
Hunky, a super-beast of enormous
Strength, intense
Sexuality, and a
Fabulous body, with the power to
Transform himself —

Split into two men,

(#1)

Mirror-clone himself,

(#2)

Zoom in to enlarge himself

(#3)

Plus, he got the Cruise of Death, the stare that
Makes men melt before him, serve his needs. The

Hot underwear was an
Unexpected bonus.

(#1 was yesterday’s Daily Jocks ad; #2 and #3 are from the Code 22 website. The company has stores in Amsterdam and in Tarragona, Spain. It boasts that its materials are all European and that its clothing is European-made; it even has a .eu e-address. Go EU!)

The ad copy from DJ is a distillation of the company’s own copy (I’ve boldfaced my favorite sentence):

CODE 22 is an expression of defining men’s underwear and sportswear design. It gives meaning to the words balance, confidence and masculinity. CODE 22 is a concept born from the spirit of innovation and created for men who are in need of minimal yet elegant creations.

I don’t know about balance and confidence, but the ads have masculinity in spades: the models look testosterone-crazed, with absurdly ripped bodies. (Not that those are bad things in an underwear model. Just not so good in a real guy.)

In any case, the p.r. copy for premium men’s underwear tends to be profoundly serious: elevated and sweeping, both grandiose and worshipful in tone. And therefore risible. I mean: funny as hell.

2 Responses to “Coded!”

  1. jerrytime Says:

    is there a word for those two veins? between the treasure trail and the v-line. there’s a lot of blood but where is it all going?

    • arnold zwicky Says:

      In descriptive anatomy, there almost always is a technical term for whatever anatomical structure or process you’re interested in; anatomists have been at this for centuries, and a lot of them seem to have been completists. But ordinary English often lacks these terms, even if (like “knee pit”, which keeps being coined), they’d be really useful.

      But if you have an interest in the anatomy, you’ll learn the technical term — “dorsal vein of the penis”, for the vein on the underside of the penis, prominent in some men, and of interest to some others — or you’ll scrape something up. Apparently, bodybuilders (who care about these things) call those veins, which are normally visible only in guys who are seriously ripped, “abdominal veins”. Imprecise, but clear in context.

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