News for penises: dick pic advice from Eric André

(Obviously a racy topic, but, I think, no more than that.)

From Kim Darnell, a link to a 8/11 GQ piece about Eric André giving no-nonsense advice to guys about taking dick pics of themselves (you can watch the great video here). Eric at the lectern:


Key message: show your whole body; show your face. Man up. Who the hell — especially, what woman — wants to look at amateur photography of a disembodied cock?

There’s a funny site critiquing dick pics that guys send in (just inviting abuse, but then vanity often overpowers common sense), reported on on this blog in a 3/4/15 posting “critique your dick pic”. And in a later (5/6/16) posting, some larger context:

Semantic/pragmatic/cultural note: usually, the penis [in a dick pic] belongs to the guy wielding the cellphone — taking a selfie of his junk — and the photo is distributed to a woman in a complex act of boasting, sexual advance, and degradation of the recipient. That is, dick pic is most often used in an incredibly specialized way. But it’s still available in the more general (and less socioculturally hazardous) sense: you can find collections of, for example, playful dick pics, with penises dressed as Santa Claus, cowboys, or whatever. Also,  as a gay enthusiast of penises, I regularly receive and send any number of penis photos (dick pics in the general sense).

Most of these, however, are cocks in context, with bodies, in postures, and usually with faces (and facial expressions). Even when a penis, considered as an object of beauty (as well as wank-fodder), is the central feature of the photographic composition. Some extended discussion in an AZBlogX posting of 11/7/10 “Concealing and revealing” and one of 4/1/13 “Beautiful penis”.

Now to the GQ piece, “Eric André Shows You How to Take a Better Dick Pic: Instagram’s most famous nude celebrity shares his hard-and-fast dick-pic rules” by Liza Corsillo:

You may not think you need a tutorial. But trust us when we tell you that your dick pics suck. It’s not your fault. The practice is a little fraught to begin with, and making something sexy out of a dismembered appendage can be challenging, to say the least. But don’t worry. You’re definitely not the only guy who struggles with the medium. According to everyone who’s ever received a photo of a penis via text or Snap or e-mail (does anyone still send dick e-mails?), they are jarring, impersonal, and often unflattering.

That’s why we asked an expert in the field (sorta) for help. You may remember Eric André’s foray into nude photography on Instagram last January. The comedian, genius political troll, and star of his own TV show on Adult Swim (now in its fourth season) posted not one but three fully nude selfies to his Instagram feed, one of which was shot in a Japanese hot spring, accompanied by monkeys. And contrary to the app’s strict female-nipple policing, those three full-frontal works of art remained uncensored for days on end. How does this qualify him as a dick-pic expert? Well, let’s just say he’s got a few opinions on the matter and lots of fruit and veg [bananas, carrots] to help him explain.

One of his Instagram photos, amended so that it shows everything but the penis:


A bit on the man, from Wikipedia:

Eric André (born April 4, 1983) is an American actor, comedian and television host. He is the creator and host of The Eric Andre Show on Adult Swim and plays Mike on the FXX series Man Seeking Woman.

André was born in Boca Raton, Florida. His father is Haitian and his mother is an American Jew. He identifies as Black and Jewish. André graduated from Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts, in 2005, where he played the double bass.

I venture that so many men’s dick pics are unflattering or even disturbing because so many men are, well, dicks. There’s a lot of Anthony Weinerism going around.

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