Schmitts Gay Beer

Caught on a best-of-SNL feature on VH-1 today, the truly fine parody skit “Schmitts Gay” from season 17, 1991, of Saturday Night Live, with Chris Farley and Adam Sandler as two gay housesitters who discover that the house is a Schmitts Gay Beer site, complete with a pool containing a crew of hunky gay men for their pleasure. The housesitters, astonished when the hunks appear:

(#1)

and the inevitable beer commercial:

(#2)

A send-up of beer commercials that exploit sexy chicks to sell beer to men.

The visual style of the Schmitts label mimics a Budweiser label —

(#3)

but the name mimics the name of Schlitz Beer.

(The beer name is apostropheless, but is often cited with an apostrophe.)

You can watch the skit here. A transcript:

Housesitter #1…..Chris Farley, Housesitter #2…..Adam Sandler

[ open on two Housesitters entering dingy-looking house ]

Housesitter #1: [ disgusted ] This is a great housesitting job you found.. this place is a dump!

Housesitter #2: Just wait’ll you see the pool.

[ they reach the pool, whch is dirty and empty ]

Housesitter #1: [ further disgusted ] No water!

[ Housesitter #2 grins slyly, then turns a faucet on and fills the pool. Dirty water starts to drip from the pipe, but suddenly the dirty pool is transformed into a sparkling paradise, as five heavily-pumped gay men rise from the water. ]

Guy In Pool: You two look like you need to get wet!

Housesitters: [ looking up to the heavens ] Thank you!

[ flash on Schmitt’s Gay logo on the front of a bottle ]

[ intercut shots of crotch areas of the gay men, as the Housesitters scream excitedly ]

[ various scenes of the Housesitters engaged in activities with the gay pool guys are seen – drinking, videotaping, doing the congo, etc. ]

Announcer: If you’ve got a big thirst, and you’re gay, reach for a cold, tall bottle of Schmitt’s Gay.

[ cut to Housesitters massaging the pool guys ]

Housesitter #1: I think I’m gonna like housesitting..

Housesitter #2: Uh.. yeah!

[ fade ]

Oh my, 25 years ago.

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