Mid-February news for penises

An accumulation of penis-related items to help fill in that celebratory gap between Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day. Meanwhile, mark your calendars: The annual Penis Festival in Japan will be held on March 15 (which is also the Ides of March).

A bit of musical foolishness, “The Pickle Man”. Then an (apparent) frat boy with a hunger for penis. And two captioned graphic images communicating something rather different from what their creators intended.

“The Pickle Man”. It started in my omnibus pickle posting of the 17th, where there was (of course) some discussion of pickles as phallic symbols, plus a reference to “third- and fourth-generation pickle men”. Which of course led me the song “The Candy Man”, made famous in a cover version by Sammy Davis, Jr. From Wikipedia:

“The Candy Man” (or alternatively, “The Candy Man Can”) is a song which originally appeared in the 1971 film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. It was written by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley specifically for the film. Although the original book by Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) contains lyrics adapted for other songs in the film, the lyrics to “The Candy Man” do not appear in the book. The soundtrack version of the song was sung by Aubrey Woods, who played Bill the candy store owner in the film.

The song is best known through Sammy Davis, Jr.’s cover version, which appears on the Sammy Davis Jr. Now studio album [1972]. Though he admittedly hated the song, finding it too saccharine, it became his only number-one hit

You can watch the Davis version here. Yes, it is seriously saccharine, as you can see by studying the lyrics (here, with a number of repeats removed):

Alright everybody gather ’round
The Candy Man is here
What kind of candy do you want
Sweet choc’late
Choc’late malted candy
Gum drops
Anything you want
You’ve come to the right man
‘Cause I’m the Candy Man
Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with choc’late and a miracle or two
The Candy Man
Oh, the Candy Man can
The Candy Man can
‘Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good

Now a visual aid: a jar of cornichons, showing some of the variety in these small French pickles: some long, some short, some thick, some thin, some straight, some curved:

(#1)

And then “The Pickle Man”, where I’ve tried to alter the original as little as possible:

Alright everybody gather ’round
The Pickle Man is here
What kind of pickle do you want
Long kosher spears
Thick stubby dills
Cute little gherkins
French cornichons
Anything you want
You’ve come to the right man
‘Cause I’m the Pickle Man
Who can take a pickle
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with vinegar and a miracle or two
The Pickle Man
Oh, the Pickle Man can
The Pickle Man can
‘Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good

Frat boys at play. This came to me from Mikkie Nieuwenhuizen (hey, he’s Dutch), who admired the juxtaposition of what is clearly a fellatio scene with the “We Can End World Hunger!” poster: feed your dick to a hungry man. Mikkie is pretty sure this is not an actual frat scene; the foosball game is probably just a prop, like the poster. Notice the third man, shirtless, in the background, probably a fellatee waiting his turn to be serviced:

(#2)

Mikkie suspects this is a video from the Fraternity X site, which supplies gay porn framed as drunken frat boys sexually abusing their fraternity brothers for fun.

A wiener in the mouth. Continuing this theme, an old ad for Swift Premium hotdogs, with the Archie Comics characters recruited to sell the wieners:

(#3)

Sausages of all kinds are such common phallic symbols that there’s a  special subPage of my “Phallicity” Page devoted just to them.

This image (also the next one) comes from the Homo History site, where you can find immense numbers of old images that might be taken to document homosexuality (both male and female) in the past, but with almost no documentation as to sources (so: almost no context) and very little critical discussion as to the interpretation of the images (note: pictures do not speak for themselves).

dick is good. Well, some of us think so. But the character in the drawing is also surely talking about someone named Dick:

(#4)

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