Apologetic candy

On the tv this morning, a (very short) commercial that turned on the apology “Sorry I was eating a Milky Way”. It’s on this site, with an explanation of its content:

A hairstylist, a rodeo clown and a cruise ship captain all completely forget what [they’re] supposed to be doing while eating a delicious Milky Way chocolate and caramel candy bar. Hilarity ensues, but their Milky Ways are just too good for these people to care.

On another site, a set of other “Distracted Chocolate-Eating Ads”:

Although being distracted by a chocolate bar might not be the best excuse for certain scenarios, the Milky Way Caramel campaign shows that this snack may be particularly irresistible. With its gooey caramel center, how could a bride possibly make it to her wedding on time? Or a mother not burn her son’s boy scout uniform with an unattended iron? These situations and more should be excused, at least according to the Milky Way Caramel campaign.

Apologies. These are not non-apology apologies (such as those posted about on Language Log and this blog over the years). The apologizers admit that failing to do what was expected of them was wrong, and they take responsibility for this failure. All that is packed into sorry.

But, but, but… the apologizers plead mitigating circumstances, they offer an excuse: they were eating a Milky Way. The candy made them do it.

They might as well have said, with Geraldine, that the devil made them do it. Not an acceptable excuse.

Wikipedia on Flip Wilson:

Flip Wilson (December 8, 1933 – November 25, 1998) was an African American comedian and actor. In the early 1970s, Wilson hosted his own weekly variety series, The Flip Wilson Show.

… his most popular character [was] Geraldine Jones, who always referred to her boyfriend, “Killer”, and whose line “The devil made me do it” [buy a dress, for instance] became a national catchphrase.

The candy bar. Previously on this blog, a Zippy with a parody of the Ode to Joy, “Ode to Almond Joy”, along with a commercial for Almond Joy and Mounds (“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t”) and an extensive exposé on the morass of candy bar names: the same name is used for different candy bars in different places and times, and different names are used for the same candy bar in different places and times. And so it is with Milky Way. From Wikipedia:

The Milky Way bar is a chocolate bar distributed by the Mars confectionery company. The American version of the Milky Way bar is made of chocolate-malt nougat topped with caramel and covered with milk chocolate and is very similar to the Mars bar sold in other countries. The non-US Milky Way bar, on the other hand, is not topped with caramel and is therefore similar to the American 3 Musketeers bar.

The Milky Way bar was created in 1923 by Frank C. Mars and originally manufactured in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The name and taste were taken from a famed malted milk drink (milkshake) of the day – not the Earth’s galaxy, as many contend.

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