Departments: Amazing food

Two finds: the pizza smoothie, discovered in today’s Zits


— and cockolate (yes, more chocolate penises), especially in the form of Cockolate Pops.

The pizza smoothie turns up in other playful contexts, most notably in a public service ad from the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (whose theme is “Take Time to Be a Dad Today”). Some expanatory text:

This guy knows his son can’t eat pizza because he has braces. So, he turns that slice of greasy pizza into the world’s unhealthiest smoothie [which the kid, of course, adores]. The ad was created by the federal Fatherhood and Mentoring Initiative.

It’s morning in America! Pizza smoothies for everyone.

Gentle humor with a message.

Then there’s a project from Derek Schooley Design, which has the pizza smoothie concept and a design for a bottle, but not yet (apparently) an actual product. The text from DSD and the bottles:

Although quite the stretch of the imagination, I dream of a world where pizza and milkshake can work together. This was the inspiration for designing a brand new beverage line about heatable pizza shakes. The fun and intriguing bottle shape combined with the unique visuals of a pizza and a blender help draw attention to the packaging. The rest of the magic comes from the reactions one might expect when considering drinking down one of these babies.


On to cockolate. Yesterday, in my posting on edible penises, I noted the portmanteau cockie ‘cock cookie’ and remarked that I hadn’t found any cites with chocock ‘chocolate cock’. Then last night I realized I hadn’t looked for the other way of combining cock and chocolate, namely cockolate — and then I found a gold mine. Lots more chocolate penises (and, incidentally, lots more chocolate cock referring to the penis of a black or brown man), but especially this entertaining commercial product:


Cockolate Pops was erected in 2010. We specialize in Erotic Chocolate Lollipops (cock and pussy pops). Cockolate Pops make a brilliant bachelorette party gift idea.  Great for passion parties as well. Our Gourmet Cockolate Pops Lollipops have a wonderful taste, made of some of the finest stuff around, and they are available in 8 different delicious flavors. Remember, We’re Not Just Dicks!

And an injunction to consume the product:


And that’s the amazing food news for today.

2 Responses to “Departments: Amazing food”

  1. Chris Waigl Says:

    For another kind of amazing food, may I refer you to the publication “Canning Walrus in Pint Jars” described by a fellow UAF blogger thus: “[I picked it up] from among the sundry brochures on gardening and home canning–how to protect your tomatoes against aphids, how to discourage moose from stealing your cabbage, how and when is best to fertilize carrots, etc, etc–offered by UAF’s Cooperative Extension Service. Like the cooperative extension services of many land grant universities, UAF’s is friendly, accessible, and always ready to foist literature upon you. I must say, this one is the most… oddly specific (pint jars!) and Alaskan (walrus!) of any I had ever seen.” (

    I thought of you when I saw it. The author who goes by Arvay on her blog is an research engineer with the Alaska Center for Energy and Power.

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