The Xmas package 2

Undergear is at it again, with another Christmas package for lovers of the male body and visual puns — this time with no visible underwear at all:

And on the site itself, another remarkable piece of clothing, the California Muscle® Milan Cross Thong (available in black, red, and white):

As before, the ad copy provides pleasures of its own:

Oh, what a night you’ll have in this incredibly comfortable pouch-enhancing men’s thong. Ingeniously designed so that the center cross lifts and enhances, the Milan men’s thong gives you a flattering silhouette without sacrificing comfort. A t-back design gives minimal coverage. Made of a smooth nylon/spandex blend with just the right amount of stretch.

Pouch-enhancing is especially nice — a word that seems to appear almost entirely in underwear ads (usually printed as two words); you can find Coxsox Mens Pouch Enhancing Underwear, DMK – Hammock Pouch Enhancing Trunk (in peacock blue or purple), Sheer Pouch Enhancing Thong by Male Power, N2N Bodywear Tropic Pouch Enhancing Boxer, and more.

Through Undergear, I’ve discovered the Nasty Pig line of gear and clothes, aimed at the rough and bearish man. Including playsheets:

Made from Nasty Pig Rubber™, these are The Original Machine Washable PlaySheets™. We have personally put together numerous focus groups to test their appeal. Elastic is stitched all the way around the edges of our Sheets so that they will hold their grip while you are busy losing yours. When you have finished abusing them, toss them in the wash. A must-have for all you Hardcore Players and Lovers.  Makes the perfect wedding gift.

The copy writers seem to be fond of capitalization. Given Sheets and Hardcore Players and Lovers, I would have expected Wedding, or even Wedding Gift.


9 Responses to “The Xmas package 2”

  1. David W. Fenton Says:

    Two observations:

    1. the slogan on the first ad, “we got what you have always wanted”, seems remarkably weird in being colloquially ungrammatical in the first part (“we got” instead of “we’ve got” or “we have got” or “we have”) and contrastingly grammatical in the second part (“what you have always wanted” — I’d likely say “what you’ve always wanted”). Makes me wonder if a designer edited the original copy to fit the graphic design.

    2. I’m enjoying the images of these thongs and jock straps in particular because of the severe “genital grooming” of the models. That is, I have a fetish for shaved pubes, and note that all of these items of undergear that are so skimpy in the pouch are modelled by guys with no visible pubes. Seems like an issue that you might profitably address in your consideration of gay imagery (i.e., hair vs. hairlessness vs. obviously groomed/shaved bodies).

    • arnold zwicky Says:

      On 1: I thought about commenting on the syntax in “We got what you have always wanted”, but left it out — and now you’ve brought it up. “We got” is in fact potentially ambiguous, between got as the past tense of get>/i> (as in “We got you a present”) and got as a vernacular present, an alternative to ‘ve got or have got or have (as in “I got the horse right here.The name is Paul Revere.”). I’m actually not sure which one the ad writers intended.

    • arnold zwicky Says:

      On 2: I’ve commented a number of times on shaved pubes (and shaved bodies in general, especially shaved armpits) in gay porn and in underwear ads, and have been intending to return to the topic in a posting devoted specifically to it. Meanwhile, take a look at the cute twink in “Gay flags” (here).

  2. Dr. Miles’ Nervine « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] puffery with a fondness for capitalization in unexpected places (as in the Nasty Pig PlaySheet ad here). And no, the ingredients in Nervine were not in fact “among the safest of effective […]

  3. The Xmas package 3 « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] continues its series of Christmas ads playing on package, this time under the heading “It’s what underneath that […]

  4. More underwear links « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] 12/17/10: The Xmas package 2 (link). No underwear at all in this ad. Plus a remarkable thong and a note on […]

  5. Bulges « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] figure out whether the bulge was supplied by the wearer (or the mannikin), achieved by pouch-enhancing features of the underwear, or Photoshopped in. In any case, the photos certainly show sizable […]

  6. David Fenton « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] But we exchanged mail, and David occasionally commented on my postings, for instance on this one from last December, where he noted a syntactic point and went on to say: I’m enjoying the images […]

  7. Rudy the Christmas Elf « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

    […] other Xmas package ads: #2, #3, #4, and #5. Not for the […]

Leave a Reply