Arnold Zwicky's Blog

(dirty verse — a raunchy burlesque of some scurrilous doggerel — so not for kids or the sexually modest)

This is what I wrote to cease my weeping at a moment this morning when a number of MSNBC commenters, who were variously black, Jewish, female, and queer, struggled not to break down in hurt, anger, and despair in reporting on Anaranjado Grabpussy’s apparently declaring a ban on federal celebrations of DEI occasions (Black History Month, Pride, etc.). Further inspired by someone ranting, I don’t know why, on Facebook about Dildo as if it were the name of a person, a character in some social drama.

The verse. Totally without redeeming social value, but a cheeky antidote to despair. A 4 x 4, a quatrain of tetrameter, rhyming A B C B:

Dildo was a queer man
Dildo was in heat
Dildo came to my house
And flashed his throbbing meat

The model is a folk verse of nasty English calumny on the Welsh, a bash at the EveryWelshman Taffy (English mock-Welsh for Dafydd (= David)):

Taffy was a Welshman
Taffy was a thief
Taffy came to my house
And stole a piece of beef / meat

(Yes, this can also be read as a tetrametric couplet; the two versions would be set to music in different ways.)

Notes. My disabilities now, alas, preclude self-pleasuring with anal toys (probes or dildos or what have you), but for visual entertainment and warm memories I have a very large neon-pink dildo on my bedroom desk.

Meanwhile, I dug out my FAGGOT t-shirt to look aggressively DEI for the day (tomorrow, either BIG FAG or GAY AS FUCK, so hard to decide). Got to display it only to the grocery courier, who was too deranged with anxiety trying to keep up with his schedule to notice.

And of course I implore the patron saint of DEI to help the sinful raccoons and aristocrats:

Agnes DEI, qui tollis peccata coatimundi, miserere nobiles

 

This entry was posted on January 31, 2025 at 4:53 pm and is filed under Latin, My life, Parody, Poetic form, Quotations, Taboo language and slurs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.