Annals of appalling food, dessert division

My most recent appalling food posting — 6/20/18, “Annals of appalling food” — looked past the regrettable food of fast-food restaurants to other regrettable savory food (chicken fried bacon, in that case) for home cooking. There’s a whole subgenre devoted to appalling things to do with hot dogs. And another subgenre devoted to regrettable salads, typically combining sweet and savory elements in an uneasy union, as in the “Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise” of William Bolcomb’s satirical song.

Then there are appalling desserts, which reach beyond the usual components of sweet pastry, cake, pastry creams, jams, fruit, nuts, and sweet dessert sauces (chocolate, caramel, butterscotch) to the playful incorporation of ingredients like breakfast cereal, candy, marshmallows, Jello, whipped topping, pudding, and nut butters.

Which brought me, some weeks ago, to a recipe on the YellowBlissRoad site for, omigod, Twix Apple Fluff Salad (hat tip to Kim Darnell).

On the Bolcomb song, from Wikipedia:

“Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise” is a satirical novelty song by the American composer William Bolcom. It is written for voice and piano, and Bolcom frequently performs it with his mezzo-soprano wife, Joan Morris, accompanying her on the piano. Composed in 1980, It is based on his experiences, in his youth, of playing the piano for women’s clubs, and being fed absurd and unappetizing cuisine, including foods resembling Jello salad.

And from the YellowBlissRoad:

(#1)

It’s the perfect time to splurge on this decadent, creamy Twix Apple Fluff Salad. It’s simple to whip up and perfect for potlucks or picnics.

Once in a while you just have to indulge in something that’s delicious, whether it’s “good for you” or not. This is one of those amazing, gotta splurge on it desserts! It’s super creamy and sweet, full of crisp, tart green apples [an actual fresh ingredient!], crunchy Twix bars and fluffy marshmallows. The creamy “dressing” is a combination of non-dairy whipped topping (I prefer Tru-Whip) and vanilla pudding.

[Ingredients:] 10 ounce container non-dairy whipped topping (like Cool Whip); 1 3.4 ounce package instant vanilla pudding; 1/2 cup milk; 4 green apples; 1 8-ounce can crushed pineapple; 3/4 cup Jet Puffed mini marshmallows; 4 packages Twix (8 single bars); caramel sauce for garnish, if desired. [Step-by-step instructions on the site.]

Of course, you’ll pour on the caramel sauce.

About the candy bar, from Wikipedia:

(#2)

Twix is a chocolate bar containing biscuit made by Mars, Inc., consisting of a biscuit applied with other confectionery toppings and coatings (most frequently caramel and milk chocolate).

I was saddened to discover that no sugary cereal was used in the construction of this dessert. Where the hell are the Frosted Sugar Bombs?

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