Alpine news for penises

Mike McKinley has alerted me to this story from the UK newspaper Metro on the 3rd, “Giant wooden penis appears on top of a mountain” by Tom Herbert, accompanied by this striking photo:

If you know a man who’s a bit insecure of his manhood, then I’d recommend they don’t visit the Austrian Alps. Why? Because a giant wooden penis has been erected on top of a 1,893 metre-high (6,211 ft) mountain. Somehow and for some reason, someone has managed to plonk a huge sculpture of an erect penis right at the top of Mount Oetscher. The phallic statue, nestled on an Alpine peak in south-western Lower Austria, was discovered by blogger Marika Roth. She said of the sculpture: ‘I believe the Oetscher just got a new mascot.’

Bare, windswept, and remote — of course it needed a gigantic penis.

The source of this story, Metro, is a free tabloid newspaper, with a huge readership, that’s distributed throughout the UK on weekdays. It specializes in racy, weird, and sensational stories, but doesn’t seem to actually make things up. And in fact the story has been widely reported in the Austrian and Swiss press. Some headlines, mostly focused on the riddle of the giant (or gigantic) (wooden) penis:

Rätsel um großen Holz-Penis am Ötscher

Der große Holz-Penis vom Ötscher

Ötscher: Rätselraten um Riesenpenis

Penis-Skulptur am Ötscher gibt Rätsel auf

Holzpenis auf Ötscher-Gipfel

Wer hat den Penis auf den Ötscher gestellt?

Auf dem Ötscher steht jetzt ein riesiger Holzpenis

Kuriosum – Der Ötscher hat einen Penis

Ja, was steht denn da am Gipfel des Ötscher?

Ötscher-Penis: Künstler winkt gratis Saisonkarte

Hölzerner Penis am Weg zum Ötscher

Wer steckt dahinter?: Penis statt Gipfelkreuz: Aufregung am Ötscher

We expected a cross at the summit, but instead we got a giant wooden penis! Excitement on the ski lift!


2 Responses to “Alpine news for penises”

  1. arnold zwicky Says:

    From skier Aric Olnes on Facebook:

    Praise Ullr!!

    From Wikipedia:

    In early Germanic paganism, *Wulþuz (“glory”) appears to have been an important concept, perhaps personified as a god, or an epithet of an important god; it is continued in Old Norse tradition as Ullr, a god associated with archery.
    … Within the winter skiing community of Europe the Old Norse god “Ullr” is considered the Guardian Patron Saint of Skiers (German Schutzpatron der Skifahrer). An Ullr medallion or Ullr ski medal, depicting the Scandinavian god Ullr on skis holding a bow and arrow, is widely worn as a talisman by both recreational and professional skiers as well as ski patrols in Europe and elsewhere. The town of Breckenridge, Colorado hosts a week-long festival called “Ullr Fest” each year in January, featuring numerous events designed to win his favor in an effort to bring snow to the historic ski town. Breck Ullr Fest was first held in 1963.

  2. arnold zwicky Says:

    On Facebook, A. L. Spehr writes:

    They don’t say just how big it is! Which only matters because I’m wondering how impressive this feat is, and rocks don’t give scale.

    And David Preston provides this photo, which suggests the answer is: about 5 ft.:

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