Today’s Bizarro, with a prescription for Drug Z:
(#1)
(If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 4 in this strip — see this Page.)
The larger topic: Z therapies for aging.
Among the available Z therapies to stave off aging:
comic therapy, prescribing Z comics for the salutary effects of humor
men’s underwear therapy, prescribing zippered garments to boost the wearer’s self-assurance
drug therapy, prescribing the Zip (aka ’Zarro) family of drugs, known on the street as Z, with various effects
Some lexical background, to be mined for the material that follows:
GDoS noun z:
z-1 (also Z, zed, zee, z’s, zzz) [echoic of the sound of one’s breathing] (orig. US) in pl., sleep in general, esp. in phrs. below. [first cite 1963 from campus slang]. Compound z-head (US campus) a stupid person. Phrases bag Z’s, blow Z’s, bust some Z’s, catch a few / some Z’s, clock Z’s, cop some Z’s count Z’s cut (some) Z’s, hit some Z’s, pick up / pop / snag … some Z’s, stack Z’s.
z-2 (also zee) [abbr. of oz.] (US drugs) 1 1 oz (28g) of cannabis. [1986 in slang dctionary] 2 1 oz (28g) of heroin. [first cite 1975 in slang dictionary]
NOAD2 noun zip:
1 (also zip fastener) chiefly British a zipper; [as modifier] denoting something fastened by a zipper: a zip pocket.
2 informal energy; vigor: he’s full of zip.
3 short for zip code.
pronoun zip (also zippo [AZ: possibly encouraged by the tradename Zippo for a lighter]) North American informal nothing at all: you got zip to do with me and my kind, buddy.
ORIGIN mid 19th century: imitative.
GDoS noun zip:
zip-1 (also zippo) (Standard Engl. zero) 1 (orig US campus) a grade or mark of zero. [first cite 1900 in a collection of college words and phrases]. 2 (US) nothing [first cite 1954]. 3 (US prison) zero, used in specifying the maximum length of a sentence, e.g. zip-five, from 0-5 years… [first cite 1964]. 4 (also zip sack) an insignificant person; an unpleasant person with no good qualities [first cite 1971-2]. In compounds: zip squat (US campus) a very small amount, nothing. [cite from 1990]
zip-2 1 (also zipp, zippo) energy, a stimulus. [first cite 1900] 2 a highly energetic person [frst cite 1961]
zip-3 [Standard Engl. sip] a sip of a drink; a single measure of alcohol. [first cite 1959]
zip-4 [from zip-1, citing alleged lack of intelligence or abbr. zipperhead] (US) a derog. term for a Vietnamese (or other Indo-Chinese) person; also as adj. [first cite 1970]
zip-5 [ext. of z-2] (US drugs) one ounce of a given drug [first cite 2000]
zip-6 [abbr. for zip coon (US black) a subservient black person [first cite 1834]]
Comic therapy. The Z comics most commonly prescribed as anti-geriatrics are Zippy the Pinhead, Zits, and Bizarro, though other possibilities are Zot! by Scott McCloud —
(#2)
Doonesbury, because of its characters Zipper and Zonker Harris —
(#3) Zipper Harris
(#4) Zonker Harris
and any anteater comic, given that zot is the characteristic sound made by anteaters in comics (as in B.C.):
(#5)
Not yet approved for clinical use are a number of Z characters in action comics — in Marvel Comics here, in D.C. comics here.
Men’s underwear therapy. There are two approaches to treatment, one using a zippered pocket (a storage zipper, offering a sense of security), one using a sexual zipper (providing a sense of desirability), either on the pouch or on the butt or (very often) on both.
From the Clever Travel Companion site:
(#6) Secret pocket briefs
Men’s underwear with two hidden zipper pockets come in a comfortable boxer style. The pockets fit passports perfectly and there is ample space for credit cards, cash, keys, even cell phones and other valuables you just don’t want to lose on your travels. They’re the perfect place to store those valuables you need on you but don’t need to access often throughout the day, like a passport!
As for sexy zippers, they’ve come up on this blog several times, in particular:
on 12/25/10, “More ridiculous underwear with zippered pulls”
on 11/5/15, “On the cellblock, in the dugout, at an ambush”
on 7/23/17, “Codpieces on Cellblock 13”
Z drug therapy. Many choices from the Zip (aka ’Zarro) family of drugs, known on the street as Z:
Zip-A (aka Nod) induces sleep and impairs cognitive function, but provides deeply pleasurable feelings (“Get Your Z’s with Z”)
Zip-B (aka Pow!) is an arousal drug that energizes and sharpens (“Zip Goes the Weasel”)
Zip-C (aka Blank or Freeze) is a psychoactive drug that produces a deep loss of self and inability to act (“Zip Left to Lose”)
Zip-D (aka Soft) is an erection antagonist, especially effective against satyriasis (“Zip it up, keep it in your pants”), but sometimes prescribed for priapism (zip it up for zip up your lip ‘be quiet’, hence zip it up conveying ‘be still, my penis’)
(#7) Zip-It-Up
In German-speaking areas, some of these drugs are available only in March and December.
Leave a Reply