Arnold Zwicky's Blog

Yesterday, on my iTunes set to random play, the wonderful sequence: The Lonely Island’s “Jizz in My Pants” immediately followed by the Edwin Hawkins Singers doing “Oh Happy Day”.

The first is from the album Incredibad, described in the Wikipedia entry as:

the debut studio album of the American comedy troupe The Lonely Island, released on February 10, 2009, through Universal Republic Records. Composed of writers and childhood best friends Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone, the album consists of hip hop-inspired comedy songs and skits with a satiric slant on traditional hip hop culture. [yes, the composed of modifier dangles, though it’s clear the writer is trying to convey that The Lonely Island — and not the album Incredibad —  is composed of these three guys]

“Jizz in My Pants” (with the verb jizz ‘ejaculate’) is a long boastful celebration of the singer’s hair-trigger sexual response:

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games

Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place, go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
A whole night what we’ve got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more

And I jizz in my pants
This really never happens, you can take my word
I won’t apologize, that’s just absurd
Mainly your fault for the way that you dance

And now I jizz in my pants
Don’t tell your friends or I’ll say you’re a slut
Plus it’s your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive, some would say that’s a plus
Now I’ll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heart-broken, not lookin’ for love
Surprised in my eyes when I looked above

The checkout counter and I saw a face
My heart stood still, so did time and space
Never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said, “I need a friend”

She turned to me, that’s when she said it
Looked me dead in the face asked, “Cash or Credit?”

And I jizzed in my pants
It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we’re going to need a clean-up on Aisle 3
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance

Because I jizzed in my pants
To be fair you were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you’re not impressed
One more thing, I’m gonna pay by check

Last week I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang

And I jizzed in my pants
Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you
And I jizz in my pants

The next day my alarm goes off
And I jizz in my pants
Open my window and a breeze rolls in
And I jizz in my pants

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense
I jizzed in my pants
I just ate a grape
And I jizzed in my pants
I went to the, jizzed in my pants
(Okay, seriously you guys, can we? Okay?)

I jizz right in my pants every time you’re next to me
And when we’re holding hands it’s like having sex to me
You say I’m premature, I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times, it’s a necessity

‘Cause I jizz in my pants
(I jizz, yes, I jizz in my pants)
(Yes, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants)
Yes, I jizz in my pants
(I jizz, yes, I jizz in my pants)

(Jizz is so much more phonologically satisfying than come would have been, and it’s clearer than shoot would have been.)

“Oh Happy Day” is equally celebratory, but reverent. According to the Wikipedia entry, it’s

a 1967 gospel music arrangement of an 18th century hymn. Recorded by the Edwin Hawkins Singers, it became an international hit in 1969, reaching US #4 and UK #2 on the pop charts. It has since become a gospel music standard.

It’s been recorded many many times.

The basic lyrics are quite simple, solidly iambic:

Oh happy day
When Jesus washed
My sins away

He taught me how
To watch
And fight and pray

And He’ll rejoice
In things we say

But this structure is played on, with full and partial repetitions in a complex pattern. Expanded a bit:

Oh happy day
When Jesus washed
Oh when he washed
When Jesus washed
He washed my sins away!

He taught me how
He taught me
Taught me how to watch
He taught me how to watch
And fight and pray

And He’ll rejoice
And He’ll, and He’ll
Rejoice in things we say
And He’ll rejoice in things we say

The actual performance is much more complicated than this, an elaborate riff on joy. Just wonderful.

This entry was posted on May 18, 2011 at 6:40 am and is filed under Gender and sexuality, Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.