On one front, considerable unease about the long, all-consuming, and physically debilitating project of dispossession of things in my condo. So I sent out a request (reproduced below) for leads on people who have accomplished what I hope to get out of all of that.
Meanwhile, Opal Armstrong Zwicky was at the ready to direct a team of haulers to cart away a mind-blogging [a really fine typo for mind-boggling: see EMK’s comment below], pile of furniture that I had emptied of its contents; for a grand finale, they moved the big desk then in my bedroom (where I had, over a long period of work, pared down four separate complete working desks from different rooms of the condo into one) into my workspace, so that everything desky would now be more or less at my fingertips (well, a short desk chair roll away). (Granted, my printer is obstinately not working, but that has nothing to do with the haulers.)
I was of no help in any of this, because my hands are out of commission for most things; typing is only somewhat painful, so I can do that. But otherwise, this has been a day of obligatory rest (and deep, knocked-out sleep). I’m hoping they will heal some.
The Facebook appeal. I quote:
I need some information about assisted living facilities (NOT retirement communities). Specifically, I need to hear, in detail, about anyone who has gone into an alf while maintaining a professional, academic, or artistic career. What I really want is to talk to such a person about how they managed that. My caregivers assure me that this is possible, but no one has been able to show me any actual example, and I have come to suspect that they don’t have any, only an earnest belief that it should be possible.
Note: I am significantly disabled, largely housebound, but have been self-managing. More important, I am not mentally diminished, far from it (as I hope you will see from reading my postings and my FB comments to friends). I am obliged to go into an alf for financial reasons, but I have had dangled before me the promise that my investing 6-8 months of my late life (I am 85 and suffering from kidney disease, among other things) in ridding myself of almost all my belongings, to move into a small alf apartment, will in fact get me unimpeded time to do my writing.
I have come to suspect that this promise is in fact no more than a hope that such an arrangement would be possible. As well as a device to get my compliance with the financial plan. I’m enough of an optimist to hope that I’m not being taken for a ride here, but the time has come for me to get some solid proof that this arrangement has worked for other active scholars, writers, and artists.
DO NOT tell me about your many friends in retirement communities; they are free agents. DO NOT tell me about your friends who have gone into alfs to be taken care of, because that’s not what I want; I want help, not care (I hope to post eventually about the sheer awfulness of being in care). Instead, bring me people I can talk to.
The short answer is that, yes, people like me have indeed carried on their careers in an alf. I have direct leads to several of these people. (Of course, everybody’s story is different, but this outcome is clearly possible.) And my caregiving agency is now gearing up to take me to visit some possible alfs. All of that is wonderful; my friends have been both helpful and comforting.
For the moment, though, I’m not up to doing much, and I’m somewhat overwhelmed by the response to my message. But I’ll get on the case very soon. Mille grazie. (Millie Gracie is the goddess of thanks.)
September 20, 2025 at 8:12 am |
I learned quite a bit from your posting and the helpful replies. So thanks for raising the question so clearly. As at least one person said, many of us will be in the same boat, so it’s great to talk about it. Oh, and as a bonus. you have a lovely typo above: mind-blogging. Btw, a super-organized friend just did a survey of Seattle-centered retirement homes and alfs for her parents-in-law. I haven’t offered to put you in touch with her, since it’s so locus-specific, and it would probably overwhelm one with detail that wasn’t mainly relevant, but I am happy to do so if you find yourself wanting an overview of how things are around here.
September 20, 2025 at 8:52 am |
EMK: I learned quite a bit from your posting and the helpful replies. So thanks for raising the question so clearly…
AMZ: Once again, I discover that if I am open about my life and willing to post really uncomfortable things, I end up speaking for others, and that’s helpful to other people. So this is something I should do. And I’m working on some deeply uncomfortable topics now.
EMK: as a bonus. you have a lovely typo above: mind-blogging.
AMZ: Wow, that’s splendid. I’ll now comment on it in a revision of the text; it would be a shame to just correct it.
EMK offers: a survey of Seattle-centered retirement homes and alfs.
AMZ: I think that would be overkill for my purposes, and I will now get on to looking at some local possibilities at first hand.
AMZ: Overwhelmed by things and with hands too painful and shaky to do anything useful, and realizing that yesterday was Friday, I engaged in sushi therapy (actually recommended by my nephrologist, though mighty pricey). With edamame, also doctor-approved. It was soothing, I slept reasonably well (though with a waking pain-break in the middle of the night), and my morning vital signs were wonderful. My hands are no longing shaking, and I can do some tasks without weeping, so I seem to be mending.
I owe responses, with thanks, to a lot of people who reacted to this posting. Well, bit by bit.
And Opal managed the furniture removal in such a way that nothing I needed for daily life was taken away, and my immediate workspace is much improved.