The phallozoo

(Obviously not to the taste of the sexually modest.)

Very brief note. At least for the moment, my phallozoo collection — a menagerie of plastic models of creatures, real and fabulous, with phallic bodyparts realized as simulacra of penises — is complete.

The menagerie is housed in two locations in my bedroom.

On a dresser by the window, in the Woolly Mammoth house (which holds a once-“animaltronic” hulk with a dark brown rubber-like plastic skin; and a somewhat smaller and more fanciful stuffed toy with a purple, blue, and yellow cloth skin — creatures I call Butch and Fey): Fey and Butch each have in their shadow an elephant with phallus as trunk and now also a similarly phallic woolly mammoth (illustrated below, #1, in gold);  and in the space between Fey and Butch, three phallus-necked brontosauruses disport themselves.

Meanwhile, on a shelf on my desk, amidst an assortment of memorabilia and miscellaneous phalliana, an assortment of phallic Tyrannosaurus rexes of many sizes and colors lord it over a pair of gorillas, a pair of rhinos, a pair of a pair of camels, and a pair of flying dragons  (all similarly phallic, of various sizes and colors), plus two yellow banana-dicks and, now, a green dicky turtle (illustrated below, #2).

In a recent shipment from the 10thDimension3D shop on Etsy:



Note the two different approaches to the placement of testicles  here: in the location appropriate for the body of the creature, as in #1 (even though this separates the penis shaft and the testicles spatially); or together with the penis shaft, as in #2 (even though this is the wrong place for a creature’s testicles, which we expect to be posterior). Art is hard; let’s go shopping.


One Response to “The phallozoo”

  1. Robert Coren Says:

    even though this is the wrong place for a creature’s testicles

    Well, on the other hand, the penis shaft is not in the usual place to begin with, so the turtle’s arrangement makes as much sense as the mammoth’s, or possibly more.

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