Annals of invective: tweets from Scotland

… over Herr Drumpf (the German candidate for POTUS)’s arrival in Scotland, just after the Brexit vote. Herr Drumpf’s tweet:

Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!

Problem: Scotland was very much in favor of Remain, and the Scots are indeed wild, but over what they see as betrayal of their earlier vote to remain in the UK, where they could continue getting the benefits of the UK’s membership in the EU. So the tweets were vicious. From the Barstool Sports site yesterday, by Feitelberg, “Donald Trump Was The Victim Of Some Vicious British Insults, Which Are Incredible And My New Favorite Thing”:

So [Herr Drumpf] is in Scotland today. He’s there to re-open a golf course/get a shitload of golf balls with swastikas on them thrown in his general direction…

Anyway, when he landed he tweeted that Scotland is “going wild” over the vote to leave…

Slight problem with that: Scotland voted to remain. They voted to remain rather overwhelmingly, with 63% voting to stay in the EU and 36% voting to leave. Saying that country is going wild over taking their country back is like saying America went wild after electing Mitt Romney in 2012. That’s not what the country voted to do. But, things like facts have never stopped [Drumpf] from firing off a tweet or delivering a statement.

To be honest, none of that is really here nor there for me, though. I don’t concern myself with things like “real life” issues. What I loved was the outpouring of insults Trump received. They were FANTASTIC.

… Cockwomble. Incompressible jizztrumpet. Shitgibbon. Tit, just tit. Cocksplat! Muppet! Mangled apricot hellbeast [and toupéd fucktrumpet]! These are all so fucking outstanding I can’t get enough of them. I want a British person to create a word of the day calendar for me, but strictly full of British insults. That, I would use the shit out of and not simply use it for a week before I decide to say fuck it, like everyone does with word of the day calendars.

But the coup de grâce for me was someone calling him a “spoon.”

I laughed the moment I saw it, though I had no idea what it meant. When I researched it and found the definition I laughed harder and may not stop laughing for a thousand nights. “Someone you don’t like. They’re a spoon because they can’t be trusted with a fork or knife.” Magnificent! You’re so goddamn stupid I can’t trust you with sharp objects. You’re a spoon. A++++ insult.

Spoon. Treasure it. Use it.

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