I’ve been sick for some time — a terrible sinus infection that makes sleeping lying down mostly impossible, so I’ve been sleeping, immense amounts of time, sitting up in the comfy chair in my living room — sleeping fitfully, with unpleasant waking moments, for long times (9 to 11 hours) at night and then with desperately needed hour-long naps during the day. (I also have attacks of the itchies — once mostly in my crotch, which was dreadful — and crippling arthritis clawing up my right hand, but those are side issues.)
The sinus infection isn’t contagious, and I don’t run a fever, But it’s fiercely painful, produces prodigious amounts of disgusting junk I cough up constantly, and is, alas, not much affected by nasal saline sprays. Mostly, it’s unbelievably tiring. Hence, my being chair-ridden (the analogue of bed-ridden). I still need to order in food and do some basic household work, and until today have been able to produce at least some small posting each day, to show that I’m not dead yet.
My last profoundly deep nap, after lunch today, came with an incredibly entertaining dream about a clever crossword puzzle on linguistic topics that had appeared in my Facebook feed, ready to carry over to a blog posting, just as it was. Then I woke up, groggy but happy, only to discover that there was (of course) no such FB message. Despair!
Then I discovered I was so groggy that I couldn’t stand up to use my walker for some time.
Eventually I managed to take a shower, very very carefully, and so to feel human again, And went back for another nap in the chair.
These are the days of my life.
December 14, 2025 at 5:45 pm |
Your courage is amazing. With all your troubles, you still produce a blog that’s genuinely interesting and entertaining.
December 14, 2025 at 6:53 pm |
Thank you. I’ve been reluctant to talk about my troubles, because I don’t want to be seem to be bragging or seeking the sort of praise you just gave me. On the other hand, I realize that I’m in the position of being a model, so I can show people that they can — anyone can — persevere from day to day and just do whatever small bit they can, and that will be a good thing.
December 15, 2025 at 3:14 pm
You’re helping me persevere through a whopping (or ass-whuppin’) depression.
December 15, 2025 at 7:06 pm
To JT: persevere. Take a look at the next installment (“The fortuitous guest gift”), which has more cheer. But really all *you* need to do is cultivate just a little bit of hope and let it grow slowly. Think about that seed. Not the wasteland. (I’m sorry; I’ve been trained to be the helpful older brother, and protective advice just kind of leaks out of me.)
December 14, 2025 at 8:39 pm |
I ‘liked’ this, but of course I don’t like it at all, except that I think that such a good dream may be a response to actually feeling better, even if not enough better to be conscious of.
December 15, 2025 at 5:49 am |
Yes, I took the dream as a good omen, a sign that I might be moving from chair-ridden sickness to convalescence. Then last night I had a story dream in which my man Jacques was the central figure. Dream Jacques comes to me very rarely — never as a sexual figure, but as a moral and irenic presence, suffused with philos rather than eros, bringing peace and comfort So I am heartened.
.
December 15, 2025 at 3:08 pm |
Oh, how I wish I practiced nasal magic.
December 15, 2025 at 6:53 pm |
It’s sinus juju that I need; have you dabbled in those dark arts?